Noel

Christmas Eve at ER. Not exactly what I had in mind for our first Christmas together.

But that’s okay. Because he’s going to be okay.

I’ve never wanted to hug him as much as I did this evening. I’m so proud of him. A man of his intelligence, of his, well, let’s face it, his pride, owning up to what I can only imagine to be, well, feelings. Oh Josh. You did good. They should put you on a postage stamp.

I love you.

Did I mention that?

I can’t. I know I can’t.

Why, why, why was I not there at Rosslyn? I mean, I know why on a practical level, but deeper than that. I should have been by his side. I should have been with him. Protecting him somehow. Protecting him from these evil men and from these injuries and from these deep, deep internal wounds.

(He's not the only one with anger issues. How dare they do that to him?? God, where were you?)

Why was I not there?

Never again. I will always be there for him. From now on I will always be there. I guess that’s why I’m here now in this emergency room. Honestly, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Well, okay... no one else I’d rather be with. For tonight, that’s ER. For now, that’s in the office.
Afterwards......... well, yeah. But let’s not go there. It sets my pulse racing. And not in a good way.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

It is, in fact, a very good way. A very pleasant way. But not for now. Right thing, wrong time? Six years to go... Will he wait that long? Will I be strong enough to wait that long? In real life are there soulmates who end up together or is that just on bad TV shows?

Oh, get it together, would you, Donna? Get it together and focus on looking after your man. For tonight at least that’s what he can be. There he is, anyway. It’s time to wipe your eyes, and go. He needs you. Be strong.

He’s going to be okay. For now that’s all that matters.

Merry Christmas, everyone.