Saturday 19 June 2010

Mexico and stuff

You see. This, right here, is why I love him. No, not the comment about running home and getting my equipment. Not that. I mean, it's funny and all, would be funny if he said it to someone else at least, but not that.

He pretends not to listen. He pretends to mow down my arguments as though they were stupid.

Then he goes and finds the answers to my question. As if I matter. As if he cares that I know that I matter, that my questions matter.

And damn it, he's persuasive.

Saturday 5 June 2010

Yo Yo Ma Rules

... He really does. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

But then, I don't know why, but I did. I wanted to see if Josh was as captivated as I was; I love the look in his eyes when he's mesmerized by something. Usually it's politics, of course. Sometimes, every so often, I wonder if it's me. (And then I remember, no, Donna, that's only in your pathetic little daydreams, he's your boss, remember?) And I wondered, could music do this too? Music that makes your heart race like Yo Yo Ma does?

And.

I felt sick when I saw him. He looked as if he was going to explode. No, explode is what he does when a Congressman is being stubborn. This was more like imploding. His eyes were glazed and he was sweating so much that I could see it from my row. And I thought, why did I not sit next to him?

Why was I not there?

Why did I let him go home without talking to me?

I've scrolled down to his name a thousand times in my cellphone. I want to call him. But I'm also scared. I'm scared of what I'll hear if he answers; even more scared that he won't answer.

Would I be his first phone call?

I want to be his first phone call.

I want him to be okay.

He'll be okay, won't he? I want to phone CJ and make her tell me he'll be okay. But we don't know. No one knows. And I don't think CJ would appreciate being woken up at 3 am.

Okay. Let's think. Health and strength, please God. What you did physically please do it emotionally too. I want him back, whole and able to kid and not freaked out by bagpipes. Okay, maybe a little freaked out by bagpipes, since that is probably a sign of mental health. But you know what I mean.

Just make it through tonight, Josh. Tomorrow you see that Stanley Keyworth guy and he's promised me that I'll start to get you back after that. Not immediately, but that's fine. I can be patient, so long as I know you're on the right path and you're going to be okay.

Hell, I'd wait five years for you if I had to.