Our non-anniversary

WHY does he insist on doing that?

He really is the only person I know who can send (beautiful) flowers to be mean. That takes some doing. Creativity, even.

Except, of course, that despite my irritation, I know he is better than that. His underlying reason cannot be meanness. Knowing what I do about him, his underlying reason is more likely to be ego. Pride that I came back to him.

Pride that his ideas and mission and the things he stands for are worth more to me than "Dr Freelove", as he (jealously?) likes to call him. Is that what it is? Or is it more basic than that? Is it a “you chose me over him” thing? Men are quite simple beings, after all...

But that’s a dangerous path to go down. Because that sounds a lot like it’s a personal thing rather than a professional thing.

Oh, Josh. If only I could read your mind. (Well, selectively. I’m sure a lot of what goes on in there is quite scary.) I’m not even sure you can read your own mind, though. Which I’m guessing is part of the problem, if not the root cause of it.

But, despite how annoying you can be, how mean you can seem, how confused you are and I am about this whole thing, despite how much you infuriate me at times and take pleasure in winding me up for your own “entertainment”, despite all that and more -

Are you better than my old boyfriend?

No comparison.